Behind every successful person are a hundred idiots speaking ill of him but for sure, behind his back. Each with a hidden agenda
The act of speaking ill of a person 'behind his back' clearly explains to the world the reasons why the originator of such speech is 'left behind' . Unless they hide behind, it may endanger their identity.
The 6 triggers behind all gossips are :
Envy
Malice
Sensationalism
Maligning for advantage, Vengeance & Misunderstanding.
You may someday become a victim too of such gossips or 'dark talks'. Most do. Difficult to tackle particularly, if you are sitting in some high chair under public glare. These are my suggestions to
tackle the situation.
If it is untruth, just remain silent. Let it just pass away. Your attempt to clarify may unnecessarily increase the speed of its dispersion ( ... most common : you are supposedly having an affair with your Secretary or some Associate and have been seen regularly seen in some popular night club). Yes, it would be hurtful but you got to be mindful of the 'Law Of Inverse Consequences'. If it seriously persists, best would be to set a meeting with your superior and explain the nature of such attack on you to set the situation straight officially on records. After that behave normally and ignore for the next few days till it dies down. If it is the truth, than you as the Tiger (initiator/ partner) should be ready to bear the consequences.
If it is Envy, avoid any action. Better to ignore albeit that hurts the most. If it is sensationalism, be normal. Don't feed fuel. It will die out as soon as the next more attractive sensational gossip comes up.
Maligning for advantage with a gossip that is not true, needs confrontation. Issue a firm clarification, explain the factual position to the Top and lace the thought with an idea that someone might be gaining a likely advantage with planting and spreading such false information. If untrue, it will die very fast and this is my experience.
If trigger is Vengeance and you can identify, directly approach and ask the person to stop. Ofcourse, he will deny. But the conversation you had with him, will put him on a caution and guard from further indulgence. Misunderstandings, will fizzle away and die, if untrue with time.
You need a structured strategy to emerge out of the gossip web. The gossipers are themselves not 'lilly white' but they have a distinct advantage of hiding behind your back and attacking. Thus you have to be sharp, alert, strategic and planned.
Behind every gossip is an unread agenda. Read it and fight back with a plan before it consumes you.
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